Hey! Are you one of those “DPS” classes when it comes to dungeon teams and pick up groups?

Wanna make it so tanks and healers you DO party with mystically disconnect, mid-run, and don’t come back?

How about making it so that anyone you ran with in the past conveniently finds a reason why they can’t run with you again?

Follow these simple steps (even just a few of them is enough!):

• Play “solo” while in your group.

  Start all the battles, ignoring crowd control, because you’re so confident the group can DPS everything down without that pesky control stuff, and that your healer can keep you alive.

  Pick your own target to take down - preferably one that nobody else is working on so you can truly see how awesome your DPS is.

  Use your highest-damage/highest-threat attacks right at the start of the battle so you pull aggro right away - isn’t it fun to watch the tank run around like that?

  When you pull aggro, DPS harder on that elite! Get it down faster!

  Completely ignore the healer and whether they’ve gained aggro or not - the healer can heal themselves and keep themselves alive, your job is DPS!

  Forge ahead after each battle, leading the group to the next battle. This is especially effective if you are not the ACTUAL leader of the party, and has the BEST effectiveness if the mana-users like the healer have no mana after the last battle.

• Make Assumptions About The Strangers In Your Group

  Don’t worry about moving towards the instance when you get into the group and it’s nearly full - just keep duelling where you are, or better yet - the party still needs to find one more person, jump into a battleground. They can whisper you when the party is full, you’ll leave the battleground with a Deserter flag, and they can summon you. Easy peasy!

  Don’t bother to buff anyone in the group if you have a buff ability. Let them ask for it if they want it, you need your mana for DPSing!

  Don’t worry about repairing or bringing food/water/bandages/potions/extra arrows before you go in - you’re an awesome DPSer who won’t die, the healer will fix you up between battles, and you know there’ll be a mage in the party to give you water when you need it.

  Don’t worry about practicing your spell-interrupt or threat-reduction skills - any spell a caster sends, the healer can heal people afterwards, right?

  Come into the instance sincerely hoping that this team of complete strangers will pass on a rare drop in the instance because you want it. State up front that you’d like everyone to pass if this comes up. This works best if you’ve got one or more people in your party who are likely vying for the same item.

• Tell Us All How Great You Are

  You’re awesome - you do “mad DPS” and have some pretty neat pixels on your toon in the form of equipment. Be sure to tell everyone in the party about it, because we all like to hear about how great you are.

  Be sure to give others advice on their playing - especially the tank and the healer. Be sure to mention that you have a high-level of that class because it earns you REAL credibility.

  Publish the damage meters REGULARLY. Like, after each boss or mini-boss fight. Don’t bother to publish healing meters, they’re just doing their job.

  Talk about your friends’ or family members’ achievements on the game and how they have bestowed certain privileges upon you (given you cash, equipment, or they have lots of cash or cool equipment).

  Keep talking even when nobody in the party responds to what you say, and the entire party just moves on to the next battle like you hadn’t said a thing.

Then, come back here and let me know how it all went! ;)

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